Mary Celeste

Unlike the boat found floating full sail ahead to the Strait Of Gibraltar in 1872......THIS BLOG HAS NOT BEEN ABANDONED!!!!

This really is the first time since Kerris had her holiday that I have had the chance to sit and write. Its been manic!!!

The new job is going well, customers are still as unpredictable as ever and I am settling into Onyx life quite nicely I reckon. I also worked on Saturday last week at a trade show in Leeds so I only had Sunday to rest (rest....ha!!!).

Kerris came home and even though I was exhausted, I was so excited that I could not sleep so when she arrived at 3.50AM on Sunday morning, I was pretty much bright eyed and bushy tailed for her!!! She had a great time, she looks fantastic with her tan, and she is happy to return to us.

Then, just as I take some time to settle back into family and work life balance, I have been struck with the mother of all colds. I am destroyed, mentally and physically with it. Hopefully, it doesn't show during the working day (drugs are great) but I am getting home and basically collapsing!!!

Collapsing to sleep you say? Oh no, you see, nothing will ever be the same with me since the discovery of Myelitis. In fact, it wont let me just have a cold without turning the Myeletic (if there is such a word) control know up!! So, even though I am dead on my feet, I cant sleep too well, anxiety is a favourite symptom and that is rife at 2.00AM. My numbness in the hands turns numb, cold and uncomfortable just because it can.

So as my immune system takes its eye off Myelitis to deal with a cold, Myelitis comes out to play!!!

Anyway, so there we are!!! On the plus side, I am glad this is all happening this week as next week ends with the wedding of the future Mr & Mrs Bartlett, Nick and Cara. Please Myelitis, can I have a weekend off?

Jack Jones.....

As the saying goes, I am on my Jack Jones for the next week.

Kerris has departed for foreign sands with her friend Marie and they are having a well deserved week in an all inclusive hotel in Fuerteventura (Canary Islands).

Kerris has been like a coiled spring for the last few weeks about this holiday, I am surprised she actually went!! She deserves time away from us boys although the timing is awful with me starting a new job next week but I can hardly lay any blame as this was booked months ago and I handed my notice in 4 weeks ago. I remember it well, it was around that time that Kerris became a coiled spring!!

So, I have done my best "don't worry, just go and enjoy yourself" speech for her and I hope she does. This week will fly for me and I am glad really as all of the rushing about gives me less time to worry about being on my own here with 2 unpredictable boys!!!

So Kerris, if you are reading this in an Internet cafe in the sun......don't worry, we are fine!! Well, at least for the moment!!!

Just one question. Where's the food, water, heating controls, television remotes, washing powder, washing machine, cooker, clothes and the kids school?

Fiasco....

My heart goes out to my poor Mum, June. A woman who has never done a days harm to anyone and deserves peace and good fortune for all of her efforts in life thus far.

Well, as I may have mentioned, Mum is trying to move house. The family estate at Milton Road in Waterloo has done its job over many years but now Mum wants to return to her own spiritual home of Southport and enjoy her retirement in a lovely little flat. Not too much to ask eh?

Well, yes it is actually....

Mum has now sold her house on 2 separate occasions only to be shafted by the potential buyers who pull out without any regard for the person selling the property.

The system is all wrong. You make an offer, the offer is accepted, the buyer gets a surveyors report, you renegotiate the price if needed and arrange funds and then you can pull out right up until the day you buy the house and sign the dotted line. It is so wrong, all of the cards are stacked for the buyer without protecting the seller.

I suggest that the seller should get the surveyors report in advance and present it as part of the initial house viewing. Then, if an offer is made, a legal document should be signed offering the seller protection in the event that the prat of a buyer wants to pull out.

Perhaps if this was adopted, buyers would think twice before utterly wasting other peoples time.

Happy birthday to........Luca!!!

Today is the day that young rascal extraordinaire Luca Garcia Spencer Jackson takes another step down the road to manhood and turns a grand old age of 11.

Happy birthday Luca.

He seems well chuffed with his Funkey and Star Wars Transformers this morning so I hope he is happy as the rest of his birthday haul floods in!!!

Luca is actually a bit like the Queen. This is his official birthday although he has already had 2 previous parties for it.

Here he is, pictured during his Wrestling phase with his biggest fanette!!!

Happy birthday Son!!

Air Guitar!!!

There is not too much going on right now so I thought I would pad it out a little by getting another Top 5 in place.

I was given my first air guitar when I was about 12 and I have cherished it since. Yes, its a little old and worn now but it still makes a hell of a racket when it comes out and furthermore, if I had to play 5 guitar solo's before I die then, in order of preference, these would be them!!!

1 - Queen, Princes Of The Universe

2 - Van Halen, Eruption

3 - Warrant, We Will Rock You (the last 40 seconds!!!)

4 - The Darkness, I Believe In A Thing Called Love (end solo)

5 - Extreme, Get The Funk Out

Yes, its all a certain genre of music, but its my genre and I am sticking to it. Dig every one of these out and play them loud, they are quite amazing!!!

Last week at Ingersoll Rand

I am quite sad to be leaving IR. I have been very happy to get out of some jobs in the past but the overwhelming feeling is that the people are good, most of the products do a good job and really, its the various tiers of management and general company attitude at the top levels that let the place down.

I have known IR for a number of years, long before I worked there. In my early days I used to sell IR Briton door closers, lever handle sets and Legge locks and as I moved onto Access Control they were one of the first on the scene with a biometric reader. So as I move on from here, I scratch my head as to why such a respected company has taken a nosedive recently.

I feel sad but ultimately, its shortly no longer to be problem and I am well past the point of believing my input will change how things are done.

Onyx will be a different kettle of fish. A relatively new company, small in numbers and resources at the moment and fighting to carve a way and a reputation in an already saturated market. There is nowhere to hide at Onyx, all decisions made affect every person in the company. So I see it as a chance to excel. I cant wait to throw myself into it and be part of a team that will grow as the success flows in. It will be difficult but it is the challenge I need. I am sick of getting up in the morning and not wanting to do a job, you need to feel like you are making a difference to stay motivated. It also gives me something else to concentrate on other than my own self pity!!!

So, on Friday as I walk out of the gates of IR in Walsall, I will reflect on what might have been but no sooner will I be on the train home, I will stop looking back and focus on looking forward.

Tests!!!

I forgot to mention this but its been a while since someone shoved a needle into me to extract some bodily fluids, I had a medical last week.

The reason behind this was that a while ago, Kerris and I went to see our Financial Advisor to see where I could get life cover extended and in the untimely event of me not being able to do much if we could get some insurance in place.

The simple answer was....No!!!

However, they were willing to consider extending our mortgage protection cover and therefore I needed to have a medical. Well about 5 months passed and last week I found myself at a Doctors surgery in Ormskirk having my blood pressure measured, blood samples given, a whole host of medical questions asked, height and weight taken, BMI calculated and on the whole, medically speaking, I am quite a healthy chap.

The last time I went through a medical, I was rejected because of past history so I don't hold out too much hope I am afraid but you never know.

Anyway, there we go, its in the blog now and as such, recorded!!!

Happy New Year!!!

Here is the picture the Kerris has been looking forward to all summer!!! This is the picture that lots of proud parents take of their kids all clean cut and ready for the new school year on the first day of the new term.

Its a lovely shot, Luca is definately showing signs of becomming a young adult and Jay is developing by the day, so much that we actually convinced him to wear something resembling a uniform!!!

Luca is now year 6, its his final year at Sunnymede and we feel sorry that at the end of this year he will be parted from friends he has known since he was Jays' size. Jay on the other hand is just starting his school journey and perhaps in year 6 he will still be with some of the kids that he shares Kindergarten with now.

Who knows, who dares to dream!!!

By the way, there is a little wet patch on the floor beside Jay. Just before the shot, he decided to take a little wee!!!!

Stag Night!!!

Today has definitely been a case of the morning after the night before!!! Last night was my best mate Nick Bartlett's Stag Night and as I am his best man at the wedding on October 6th, it was my job to organise the day.

There wasn't too much organising to do on reflection, as with all things, I was mainly worried about whether everyone would turn up and enjoy themselves. Thankfully, as far as I could see anyway, we managed to tick both boxes.

When Nick asked me to be best man a good while ago. I was barely able to start thinking of devious locations and events for him when he announced that he wanted to go shooting in the day and drinking in Liverpool at the night. Nick even took on the task of trying out various clay pigeon locations around the North West to find the best venue (it must have been hard for him eh!!).

So in the end, we organised a shoot at Manchester Clay Shooting Club, an evening meal and the Concert Square area of Liverpool for some beer.

It was a really enjoyable day, everyone loved the clay pigeon shooting which I think is reflected in the picture above. Steve Foye is the proud man with the trophy and the open gun for hitting the most clays as a non shooter. He hit 18 out of 25. I hit 7....enough said eh and 2 of them were out of sheer anger!!! Personally, I can see why people enjoy it and I would go again but its not a hobby I would invest time and money into. My eyesight really let me down, the clays were coming in and out of focus as they flew through the air so I think my favourite hobby will remain throwing oneself down a big hill in a large wet ball.....see previous entries!!!

We got the main party together in the early evening and went for an Italian meal before moving onto Concert Square and it was great to see so many friends turning out for Nick. It was also great to see some people that I had lost touch with for some many years, namely the Ashworth brothers and Mark Soffe and its good to know we are all able to reflect on the old days and that we are all growing old gracefully!!!

Nick was looking a little worried for most of the early part of the night as I was carrying a large black folder and was not willing to let him take a peep into it. At this point, I have to let you into a sub story.

Initially, it was my desire to handcuff Nick to a lamppost in Concert Square, my brother Andy was going to come into the city centre in his car with 2 x 25 Litre water carriers and 5 buckets. We were then going to invite members of the public to give him a public soaking. It was all going to be good fun and I was going to make sure that he had a change of clothes at the ready to make sure he was OK. Unfortunately, I took the time to run the idea past a local law enforcement officer and he told me that bringing large containers of unknown fluids into the middle of a busy city drinking area actually contravened several current anti terror laws and that there was a good chance I would get arrested!! So, onto plan B....

Plan B worked out just fine. I had already bought the handcuffs to lock Nick up so I put them to good use and handcuffed Nick in the bar that we all met in. The only way that Nick would be set free would be to pass 5 challenges out of the 10 that I had come up with and stored in envelopes in the folder. Nick took it well and these were his challenges -

1 - Obtain a lovely ladies bra and present it to the stag party. (This was actually the easiest of them all, Nick and I were stunned at how willing the lady was to hand her bra over!!).

2 - Assemble 4 none blond women for a group photo.

3 - Stand in the middle of the bar area and sing the national anthem nice and loudly.

4 - Buy a drink for a male stranger and give it to him telling him that he had seen him from across the bar and really liked him.

5 - Challenge 2 other members of the Stag to a "down in 1" pint competition. Nick chose Myles and myself and for the record..I won!!!

So 5 done and before we let him out of the cuffs, he had to phone his wife to be, Cara, and serenade her with "I just called to say I love you" down the phone. Well done son!!! I was worried about where the cuffs ended up but I did notice them at Nicks place this morning so thankfully some poor sod is not stuck to a lamppost waiting for a locksmith!!!

After that, many drinks flowed, we moved onto the fantastic 80's bar, Reflex, for more drinks and general silliness and by 2.00AM, Nick was smashed and the night drew to a close with him taunting a bouncer trying to clear the club out and then turning on a taxi driver for the fare home!!! I have never seen that side of you mate, it was really funny!!!

So we got Nick home and off to bed and hit the hay at around 3.15AM.

To my surprise, I woke up at 6.35AM bright as a button!!! I have to tell you though, because of my well logged history of what alcohol does to me, I took it very easy drink wise. I think I must have had 4 or 5 beers all night and I interleaved them with Diet Coke and J20 drinks.

So there we go, a great night, I got a mail from Nick telling me that there are blanks in his head which is always a good sign for a good night so I am more than happy with my work!!!

The job is now half done, the wedding is just over a month away and that is where I get to meet everyone again, share some more drinks and get the chance to leave Nick red faced again. Its a tough job but very rewarding!!!