Its getting hard to update the blog recently..

In the last entry about my current condition, I shared that my right hand was numb and had a constant coldness to it. Well I am glad to say that the numbness and the coldness have pretty much moved on. However, there is always something around the corner to make life difficult!!!

The numbness is now confined to 2 fingers. On my right hand, my little finger and my second finger feel quite numb all the time right now and furthermore, its making typing and using the mouse very hard.

Last night, I held my hand up with fingers stretched out (in the same way that you would to see if your fingers were shaking) and I was amazed to watch my fingers drop and go into an almost clenched position with no control from me. I could not feel them bend or move. So its any ones guess to wonder what is going on there.

I spent and hour and a half inside an MRI scanner at Liverpool University Hospital on Friday and to say it felt a little claustrophobic was an understatement. I was genuinely shaken by it. However, they took piccies of my back, my neck and my brain to see if anything was developing. I will make an appointment for next week so hopefully they will have big news, little news or no news. I don't really know which I would prefer more right now.

Jimbo

This is my good friend James E Thurgood and his lovely lady Sharon at our wedding (by that I mean Kerris and I, not Jim and me!!) back in June 2004. I have known James for nearly 10 years now and following on from his complaint that he was not mentioned on my blog, I thought I would give him some space and tell you a funny story.

I don't think that Jim will mind me telling you of our first meeting.

Jim was a new starter at Gardiner Security and I was happily taking on the role of inductor of new staff while my boss, Glenn, was on his holidays.

Jim was about 3 hours late to begin with and so I got straight onto product training.

"Now Jim, this is the Vantage PC based access control system, you will need to fire up your new laptop to run the software" I said.

"How do I do that?" Replied Jim.

"Just install the software CD onto the laptop and then run the program" I answered.

"No" said Jim "How do I turn on the laptop".........

I can honestly say, the ice was broken, a friendship was made and I have treasured this bloke ever since.

So here's to Jim, not alf my boy, look what you could have won!!!!

Customers!!!

Hello from sunny Glasgow.

I did not intend to blog from Glasgow but a situation was forced upon me whereby I had to. I left the house this morning at 6.00AM to be in Glasgow for a 10.00AM meeting. All good planning from me.

As I turn onto the M8, the phone rings and its the customer. The immortal words "Sorry to mess you about..." come out and he tells me the meeting is put back to 1.00PM.

So I divert to a hotel, drink lots of coffee, consider the fact I could have easily left at 9.00AM and had an extra 3 hours in bed.

Cheers customer!!!

Depressed!!!

I was quite depressed yesterday. I was quiet and withdrawn and Kerris hates that when it happens. Thankfully, it does not happen t0o often.

I am completely sick of my latest round of symptoms. Mainly the cold feeling in my hand, its driving me insane. I saw the consultant on Thursday last week and he seemed happy enough and claimed that it would clear up of its own accord and that I need to arrange another MRI to see if there is anything developing that was not there last time. This MRI is happening this coming Friday.

When I woke yesterday, I was tired, my right hand was cold as ice and I could feel some sinus pain and it just hit me from the moment I got out of bed. All I could think of was going back to bed!!!

I got through the day OK, like I said, I was quiet and withdrawn. Kerris went out in the evening with her sister, I ordered her to go as she wanted to stay with me but it would not have helped and I was feeling bad enough on my own without spoiling Kerris's plans.

So I was in bed by 8.50 and asleep by 8.51 I think and when I awoke this morning, it had all passed (except for the cold hand).

This hand is insane, I am typing now and it feels like it has frostbite coursing through it. I cant feel the keys I am hitting and I have slowed my typing down (to about 120 words per minute!!!) so that I can strike the keyboard with my right hand with more accuracy. The spell check will let me know in a moment how I am doing!!!

I think these symptoms are clearing, I have a lot less of a tightness in my legs and the stiff muscles feeling just seems to be in my lower back. Its clearing slowly though, hopefully once these pass off then that will be it for a while until the body re-groups and comes up with a plan B to debilitate me more.....

By the way, spell checker loves me!!!

Weight loss update 4.

Firstly, did you notice that there wasn't a "Weight loss update 3" in the blog last week?

Seen as though we title it "weight loss update...." it would require actual weight loss to make it into the blog. Last week, I actually gained a pound in weight and went up to 17st 8Lbs. This was despite monk like living after the weekend of Easter. It just goes to show that you cant binge on choccie eggs and expect to lose weight.

So we can assume that this week we have weight loss as there is an entry!! Wehay!!! I did this little feat despite going to the charity ball at the weekend and I am quite chuffed to inform you that the scales read 17st 6Lbs this morning as they groaned under me.

I think I have found the formula for weight loss at this time too. You have to understand that I am doing sod all physical exercise right now as my numbness is restricting me and that came soon after my imbalance cleared up. So it seems that physically my body wants to hold me back.

However, the secret appears to be that every day, if I have a regular breakfast, a bucketful of fruit for lunch and a regular healthy evening meal then weight will drop.

I know this is going slow but I am sticking with it all the way to 16st, just watch me!!!

I dont have a trade as such!!!

Its always worried me that I did not do well in school and that while most of my year were busy doing "A" Levels, I was busy re-sitting GCSE's as I had basically wasted my school life trying to look like the class idiot!!!

I remember the day well, it was the day that we collected our 5th Year GCSE results following on from taking our exams. I did not think at the time that I was going to do well and my god was I right.

I opened the envelope to find that the only subject I had attained a healthy "C" in was Geography. There you go, pretty important stuff eh!!! At least I would always know where I was. I basically finished my school life with the ability to know where I was and the ability to attention seek.

So the following 2 years were spent getting the grades that eluded me, and as people where leaving the 6th form with the "A" Levels required to progress onto University, I was leaving with the GCSE's required to do "A" Levels. By this time, it was time to start earning a living.

One thing or another led me into sales roles, I started in metal wholesaling and with a nod from my good friend Nick, I took a job at a security wholesaler.

And in security is where I stayed. I now work as a Sales Manager and I navigate the UK attention seeking for new business. So in that way, my skills match my qualifications!!!

Professionally, I still want to progress and for some reason, computers and me have always had a logical kinship that I am exploring a bit further. I have started studying towards becoming an IT professional. At the very least, I see a link between security and IT knowledge as the 2 sectors are coming closer as network technology develops. I see lots of IT professionals who don't know the first thing about security and conversely I see a lot of security professionals who don't know the fist thing about IT. I will bridge this gap I hope and get myself a pretty hi tech trade along the way.

I just want to know, what the hell is going on!!!

I am suffering a little at the moment with a few symptoms that are really starting to get on my nerves!!!

I am seeing my consultant tomorrow, I brought it forward a week and also arranged to see him him at a different hospital as I could feel something creeping over me and I wanted to see him while it was there rather than describing it all after the event.

Basically, I feel very numb and yesterday, for no apparent reason, I just fell over when I left a site that I had just been working on. My right foot ankle gave in and there I was like a beached whale on the floor with dented pride and a sore ankle too.

So I have this numbness that started in my feet and has worked its way up my legs and it stretches from my knees to the centre of my back. Its weird as although I am numb, I feel touch!!! Only time and learning will give the the words to describe it.

I also feel cold, my right hand is permanently cold and last night when I put it somewhere warmer to get some heat, it just felt colder!!! It feels like I have been holding a snowball for too long and all of my senses have gone in my hand.

I had an initial diagnosis of Myelitis but as this drags on, I think it is all pointing in one direction for me. I just hope I can get on top of it and start feeling normal again soon. Its not debilitating, its just depressing.

Lobsters dressed as penguins!!!

Kerris and I attended a charity ball this weekend at Formby Hall Golf Club. We had a lovely time and by all accounts, over £7000.00 was raised for the charity concerned.

We made an effort to look good so that deserves a few piccies!!!

Symptoms oh symptoms!!!

Whatever it is that is wrong with me, I have obviously had it for a long time before getting to the point where I am now which is having a vague idea of what is going on!!!

The steroids did a fantastic job, they cleared all of my previous woes away and got me back into a working state but since never a day goes by when there isn't something there chipping away to remind me that my body is being tinkered with from within.

I have developed a symptom that I had in summer last year and although its not debilitating in any way, it is annoying me as the rather crude consequences of it would be laughed at in a normal body!!!

I tried to describe what was going on to Kerris and the best description I can give you is a light numbness in both legs that continues up to my waist. I also feel it in my right hand on my fingertips!!! To describe how this numbness feels is best put like this. Imagine you are wearing a pair of tight trousers (or for women and some men too, a pair of tights) and you put another pair of trousers on that go over them. You don't feel the full sensation of putting the second pair of trousers on as they pass over your legs. And that's how it feels!!! It feels like that everywhere in my lower half, and I mean everywhere!!! Is this getting too crude yet because its about to get a whole lot more crude.....

The other interesting effect of this is a general loss of sensation. By this I mean that normal every day functions that are carried out in the loo have less of a feeling as they pass out of me!!! So to be terribly graphic (and remember this blog is for me to look back at as a valuable source of what happened and when as well as fine reading matter for you), I can have a wee and although I have the feeling I need one and I go to the toilet as normal, I don't actually feel it coming out.....good job I can see it!!! And its the same at the back too but describing that is between me, Kerris and the doctor!!!

So annoying as this all is, it doesn't affect my day to day life and in fact this weekend, Kerris and I are looking forward to attending a charity ball. Kerris will look fantastic and I will look like a ginger lobster in a dinner suit!! Yes, as usual, people will think she is either giving me a sympathy date or she is a hired escort for the occasion!!! Pictures will follow!!!

Happy Birthday Brother Numsi!!!

A very special friend of mine celebrates his 33rd birthday today so all the best goes to Sandro Campobassi.

I dont know where he is exactly right now, he has been around the world for 6 months travelling with his lovely lady Virginie and he kept a blog going too!! He actually has 2 blogs, one for travelling and one for everything else and you can see them here -

Sandro and Virginie "Tour du Monde"

Allessandro in Europe

You get the general impression that the guy has more time and money on his hands than most people do!! Only kidding mate!!

So I think he is back in the UK at the moment and off to France shortly with Virginie. Have a good trip son and make sure we meet up real soon and discuss if the taste of Fosters Ice has changed since you have been away!!

Have a really good birthday and I look forward to seeing you soon buddy!!!

Internet and symptom frustration!!!

The Internet is a great tool if you are the kind of person who can go into a shop and browse but if you want anything specific its a pain in the bum!!!

I have to do a post shortly as an update to my various symptoms and how they have either disappeared or, in a Borg like way, have adjusted to the steroids and re-born themselves as some other annoying symptom.

One such symptom that is annoying the hell out of me is a cold feeling inside my nostril that sometimes move about from the left to the right and occasionally moves down to just above my lip!!! It also seems to be linked to my sinuses and causes them a little grief too, its a cold feeling, like on a cold day when your nose runs and you feel something cold coming out of your nose......COLD!!!

Anyway, how the hell do you begin to research this on the Internet. I have posted questions on the MS forums that I joined to no avail, I have searched the mighty Google and come up with, as always is the way, some one's interesting porn fetish but for the life of me I cant nail it!!!

I did find that following a Lumbar Puncture (oh please don't make me think about that again) the cerebral fluid that is drained tops up again in your body and there is a point in your forehead where the fluid comes back into the bloodstream but no mention of sinus related pain or coldness!!!

I have a consultation again in 10 days so I will go there armed. I am truly thankful that I can go there at all because if I can go then that means that the body must be functioning to some degree!!!

Wrestling

I have huge problems with Wrestling.

I don't like Wrestling, I never have really and it probably comes from the fact that I knew it was a piece of pantomime from an early age. A relative of mine used to wrestle in Blackpool and gave all of the secrets away so as much as Big Daddy and Giant Haystacks used to smash 10 bells out of each other, I knew that behind the scenes, they probably shared a passion for floral arrangements and afternoon teas together.

Anyway, Wrestling today is an altogether more serious affair. It started last summer with Luca asking for a John Cena hat to wear if they were working outside on a sunny day at school and gradually, the ugly shadow of RAW, WWE and all the associated paraphernalia have crept upon us.

So our Luca is as much of an innocent 10 year old as you can get. He knows little of the world that awaits him in adulthood and I am pleased that my family like the idea of our children retaining their innocence for as long as we can get away with it.

So it doesn't help when all the kids at Luca's school who are generally spoiled to the hilt anyway start getting PlayStation games that have a 16+ certificate and start copying the moves in the playground.

Then you see it on TV. SKY make no attempt to watershed it and its all about beating the living hell out of your opponent and then taking the microphone to tell the world how much pain they will leave the next guy in.

Then you get the entrance and victory music which sounds like the kind of stuff that plays on the Kerrang channel and its all about "Now you're gonna pay" and pain and all manner of unpleasant acts.

Perhaps I am old fashioned but as I write this, Kerris is in bedroom telling our 3 year old son not to wrestle with her.

There are a lot of irresponsible adults out there who don't seem to give a toss what their kids do and watch as it keeps them out of their way. I am not one of those and as such, even though ultimately it is a losing battle, I will fight on.

Weight loss update 2 - weight is still dropping!!!

I am pleased to report that weight has again dropped this week!!!

I am now a whole 1Lb lighter!! The grand total is now 17st 7Lbs.

It may only be small but it is still a loss and some weeks will have more movement than others!! Also consider, I do little exercise and this is purely through eating less.

I have completely changed my diet. I now take vitamins in the morning and I also take one of those pro biotic drinks. I have also stopped drinking fizzy drinks and dropped diet coke as a drink completely. I used to have a bottle a day so it can only do me good!!

So here is looking forward to another week of cutting back.....oh hang on, its Easter!!!

Monkeys

There are lots of situations where one might make reference to a monkey. Homer Simpson has a deep fear of the power of monkeys, a monkey can be a sum of money if you live "dahn saff - down south", you could be a porch monkey if you intend to stay in one place and never leave and finally in this instance, you could have a monkey on your back.

A good Friend of mine was telling me recently how in business it is usual, in times of trouble, to get that monkey off your back by advising the concerned party to carry out a seemingly pointless task. The concerned party then goes about this task unaware of its pointlessness and in this way, you have got the monkey off your back and at the very least, bought some time to consider your next move.

I have first hand experience of being that concerned party this week at work. Without going into detail, I am slap bang in the middle of a situation that has an obvious solution. However, the solution has financial implications and the people who can say yes or no as to whether we can resolve the problem keep giving me small time delaying tasks to carry out that ultimately stall us from resolving the problem until such a time as they have to commit to a resolution.

I don't like being a monkey. My work style is to tell people the truth. I say what I see and, if its in my power, I do what needs to be done. Being a monkey is not my style. The outcome of this current problem will be damaging to all parties just because we did not do the right thing at the right time. We can argue and finger point later but now is not the time and place for silly games.

So although getting a monkey off your back buys you time, it does nothing for your credibility and goes little way to resolving the problem.

Like I said, I don't do monkeys......

Duvets

I decided that over the next few days and as a nice way to pass some time over the Easter period, I would have a few rants on my blog!!! Everyone except me seems to use their blog for propaganda and I haven't dedicated too much time to speaking my mind here as yet so my first victim will be Duvets, or to be more precise, the lack of them.

Now I know that some Australians read my blog from time to time and that the word duvet is a little alien to them. In fact, Mr A Campobassi of address unknown, I distinctly remember a heated Fosters Ice fuelled argument somewhere near The Paradox in Aintree (see the horses) where I was being told that there was no such item as a duvet and that the correct term for this fine insulated sheet is a "dooner".

Time passing is a funny thing and I hope now that both you and your family have embraced your respective French sides, you now know what a duvet is and indeed what a dooner isn't!!!

So, duvets, where are they all? Also, why is is that expensive hotel equals no duvet!!!

I have just returned from London and recently I have started to use Laterooms for my internet hotel bookings as staying in Travelodges up and down this country is, quite frankly, doing my head in!!! However, for all the good deals on Laterooms and for all the choice, the hotels seem to prefer the fitted sheet option over the duvet!!!

Whats going on? Why are there fitted sheets everywhere? They don't heat you, they don't trap heat and they fall off!!! They also have to have an obligatory dodgy looking brown woolly sheet on top or a germ filled valance of some disgusting design that you would not carpet a pub function room in!!!

Fitted sheets make me unhappy, duvets make me smile. There is obviously some cost option here whether it be in materials or cleaning but from now on, I swear that I shall always refuse a room with unless it has a duvet!!!

Say what you like about Travelodges, Premier Inn's and Holiday Inn Express. You get a comfy bed and a duvet every time and its usually half the price of its so called quality counterparts!!!

Rant 1 over, rant 2 comes tomorrow and is entitled "Monkeys" and rant 3 will swiftly follow where I will let my thoughts be known on Wrestling.

What a difference a week makes.....

This time last week I was at a low. I was depressed and let it all get to me and was generally miserable to anyone who would care to listen.

Kerris acted admirably, giving me the kind of sympathy usually reserved for bereavements and all of this was a culmination of steroids toying with my emotions, the single worst day of attacks that I had experienced (about 25 in total) and also the looming return to work.

Well, a week has passed and I have to admit that I feel better than I have done in a long time.

I was at the point of getting extra medication for my nerve attacks and the drug in question was carbamazepine which is usually used to treat epilepsy. Thankfully, my consultant had forgotten to send this request to my doctor who in turn refused to prescribe it to me and it gave the steroids an extra couple of days to work some magic and now the nerve attacks are reserved for when I am in a horizontal position!!! And seen as though that only happens at night, they are now few and far between!!!

So apart from a few night nerve attacks to worry about, I feel good and my balance is improving and I am in a good place mentally!!! Hooray!!!

Now keep watching the weight dropping, I in turn will keeping eating healthy and organic and taking all the best supplements and when this baby decides to attack again, my body will be waiting!!!