Weight loss update 2 - finally!!!!

After the disappointment of not losing a dicky bird last week after fasting like it was some kind of religious festival. I braved the scales once again this morning and even the after effects of a good course of steroids could not stop the weight from falling!! A whole 2Lbs (1 Kilo) went, never to return!!!

So here I stand at 17st 8Lbs.

If I lose 2Lbs a week then by the time Kerris and I depart these shores for Spain in June, I reckon I might be 20Lbs lighter!!! That would be a trim, 16St 4Lbs to look forward to. It wont happen though, these things are never simple with me.

Now come on, bring on next Friday!!!

Happy Birthday To.........ME!!!!

That's right, 34 years ago today, Michael John Jackson was born into the world at Fazakerley Hospital in Liverpool.

Birthdays seem to come and go with less significance as you get older so there is no pomp and circumstance surrounding it. I got some lovely presents, Liverpool home top, PJ's, gift vouchers and DVD's to watch.

I do have a favourite birthday memory though. Exactly 4 years ago today, Kerris entered the lounge in our house to tell me that the test was positive and she was expecting!!! That was a surprise!!! To say that it kind of overshadowed the occasion was an understatement!!! I remember going for a stunned meal that night in an indian restaurant in Ainsdale and Kerris and I just eating food bewildered!!!

Obviously the bewilderment passed and 9 months later, along came Jay just in time for Christmas!!!

Back to the grindstone!!!

Today is Wednesday, and on Monday this week I returned to work after a lay off of nearly 3.1/2 weeks.

I took the time off work mainly because -

I felt unfit to drive (I do nearly 40000 miles a year, the equivalent of Australia and back and half way there again).
I was horizontal for 5 days following the lumbar puncture with headaches.
I was worried that the steroids would cause me to lose my almost legendary level headedness with several trying customers!!!

Anyway,Monday and Tuesday felt like hell, the equivalent of "return to work" jet lag and it was only today as I joined the masses on the Thelwall Viaduct with Terry Wogan protesting about how he earns no money from Children In Need and the fact that he invented TV gaffs long before he got the Eurovision result wrong recently that I felt like I had overcome my recent troubles and integrated back to being a useful member of society.

In my absence, you will be shocked as I was to learn that nothing in the security world has changed or moved on. Prices are still too high, our technology is still too basic and there is always another cheaper and better solution that kicks your own into touch waiting around the corner.

I have always had a slightly warped and tongue in cheek view of security anyway. People invest thousands of pounds into systems that are supposed to keep the bad guys out and let the good ones in without putting any thought in how systems can be beaten. For example, the best way into a secure building is to wait for someone who is allowed access to arrive and then tailgate them through the secure entrance once they have typed in their pin number or swiped their card. In large buildings this is easier as no one knows exactly who their work colleagues that share the building are and the fact that I could pop on a suit and follow them through means nothing to that person but I could then nick a few laptops, start a fire, plant an explosive or take an entire floor hostage.

The easy way to resolve this is to use turn stiles, but you barely ever see them, I am going to put a petition on the Number 10 website for turn stiles to be written into law and force the issue!!!!

My God, that sounded almost like a rant!!!

My brother is also now a blogger too!!!

Inspired by the immense efforts of his younger brother. My own elder flesh and blood, Andy, has started his own blog too.

Entitled, Power pop and the truth about an unfair world, you can click on that title and be taken straight there.

However, its not for the faint hearted at all. Andy is slighty mad and seems to want to start an argument with almost anyone who cares to read. Once you have read his early entries, I hope you will realise exactly which brother has the real problems!!!

Good luck Andy.

The tease is revealed!!!

This is a funny story in itself. I was busy living a relatively stress free life and seemingly going nowhere fast when I decided to give the easy life up and search for a real challenge!!!

You see, as I was telling someone via email earlier this week, I am not a basic man, I am driven by being needed and being able to take people's burdens away and generally act as a bit of a martyr to the cause.

This is where Kerris comes in!!! For those unfamiliar with Kerris, she is my wife of nearly 3 years (I said it before, where did that time go!!!). And in meeting Kerris and building what I now refer to affectionately as my family, I get to martyr almost every day!!! Some people would not like it and could not be doing with offering the small helps that I give but then I am not a basic man and as I look around me and see the safe homely environment that we have created for me, Kerris, Luca and Jay. I get a huge sense of self worth and satisfaction from it!!!

Lots of people use the word soul mate when they talk about their wives and partners and in Kerris I have found that person. I smile when I see her and its little things like that that bolster the argument. I am completely happy with Kerris, we can talk about anything, we work as a team (believe me, with our 2 kids, you need to) and we make sure that there is always a little time of the day where we can be together as a couple and often fantasise about what it would be like to be a couple on our own, just starting out and how we would not waste and relish every spare moment of the day.

So that brings me to the tease. Kerris is a special girl, she deserves lovely things and she is one of the few that have a song, and not a bad one either I am told, written for her by her loving husband. The story is all in the link but take a look and read the background and look at horror at the fat faced pic of me that made me realise that I needed to drop some inches in the first place!!!!

http://www.emjdesign.co.uk/aquamarine/index.html

Weight loss update 1 or lack of it!!!

Friday was scales day and after a week of steroid action that makes me want to eat the gross national produce of some small country it was time to step on and look down past the belly of the beast!!!

Now its worth pointing out that a common side of effect of my steroids is weight gain as they increase the apetite but seen as though my body is now a tepmple, I showed monk like resolve all week and stuck to 3 meals a day and nothing after 6.00PM like all the good websites say!!!

And my reward, no loss and no gain!! Exactly the same as I was a week ago at 17st 10Lbs.

This, Mr Bartlett, is why I wont accept that weight loss challenge from you!!!

So how do I feel about that? Well, pretty good actually, I faced hunger and overcame it and I held steady while nature threw its best at me.

So bring on next Friday...I will be there and this time body, you cant hide behind performance enhancing steroids for an excuse!!!

Day 5 of Steroids.....

Day 5 is the final course of steroids that I needed to get into me. As I said earlier, this course was meant to go in via a needle and drip and there was no way on this planet that I was taking that while they can be inserted aurally, anally or snorted!! In fact, any way except using a needle.

So they are now in following the usual morning endurance test to swallow thm down and I definately notice improvements in areas where I was struggling previously. For instance, I dont feel like I have a balance problem now and previously I had urinary retention too. But now, I am steady on my pegs and can pee for England.

Side affects are bizzare though. I must admit, that over the final couple of days, I just wanted to get up and smack someone if they wanted it!! So in conclusion -

Side affects -

Insomnia
Energy
Alertness
Aggitation
Hunger
Slight bowel troubles!!
Emotional

Improvements -

Balance is back to normal
No unrinary retention

No Cchange -

Nerve spasms continue

A tease for those who dont know!!!

The blog is going to have some depth added to it over the next few days. Its turning into a real snapshot of who I am and what I am about. Lots of people are reading it and although there are a few things that have happened over the years that I am not proud of, there are lots of achievements that I wish to share. So a few of you might know whats coming when you see this picture and you will know the story that lives alongside it. For those who dont, this is officially a tease and it might make you think of the inspiration behind my blog title!!!

Day 4 of Steroids!!!

Well things are now getting bizzare. Its a wierd feeling to experience your body physically changing, you keep a mental snapshop in your mind of how you feel and if anything deviates from that then you notice quite quickly.

Let me enlighten you. For instance, I think my teeth have grown!! They have either grown or the matter that they are lodged into has pushed them up a bit because my usual gap toothed look is feeling slightly tightewr, they may have just developed anotther coat of enamel overnight but they have changed and I can feel it!!!

My balance is definately improved, there was a point previously where I just had to stand up and I would lean to my left instantly but that has now gone, its a good feeling!! I feel like I can go walking a long distance again so perhaps over the next few days I can tool myself up with my iPod and go for a wander to see how far I get!!!

I must admit that I will be happy to see the back of these steroids. It looks more like a japanese endurance gameshow everyday at the moment when I take them with a glass of black currant in the morning and I dont get much sympathy about it!!!

After the previous entry, I was really tired all day so the plan is to stay awake as long as possible and then even if I do wake in the early hours, it will be a lot nearer morning than it was previously? Mentally that should improve things!!! Does that make sense? I dont know, making sense is not my forte lately!!!

Anyway, last day of steroids tomorrow so I can tell you if I have developed further limbs or not in that update!!! Thanks for stopping by.

Insomnia!!!

Here's an unexpected and unwelcome side affect....insomnia!!

Look at the time of this post. Nearly 3.00AM I reckon by the time it goes on and here I am, bright as a button and researching MS, vitamins and miracle cures with SKY channel 395 giving me a classic mix of rock anthems!!

These steroids certainly give your energy a boost!!! I had no problems getting to sleep but once I wake, I am awake!! Last night it was from 5.00AM and the night before was 3.00AM so I must be back to square 1 here!!

Never mind, I have just emailed Kerris a wish list of stuff for my birthday later this month so its time well spent. Also, what are my hot research tips for the night? Well if you want medical insurance to cover an existing ailment then you are basically screwed and also if think you are getting enough Omega 3 and 6 oils in your diet because you eat lots of fish then think again!!! Only organic fish which get to eat sea minerals and kelp etc produce Omega oils, farmed fish are pellot fed and dont produce much at all!! Now that is the first time I have ever heard an argument supoorting organic foods....thats the one for me from now on!!!

Anyway, good night or good morning!!!

Day 3 of Steroids!!!!

Well not a lot to report here!!! I am 500Mg of steroid better off and getting used to taking them in the morning in such a way to avoid the metallic after taste!!! It looks like some kind of "I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here" Bush tucker challenge at breakfast time with me. However, I am turning to a picture of health as I also down a pre biotic drink, Omega 6 and Vitamin D.

Not much improvement in the condition at the moment though, the steroids caused a couple of dashes to the little boys room late last night but nothing to worry me.

I also wake up with the energy to run a marathon if needed which I hope is a long lasting side affect!!!

I have noticed an improvement in my balance, I was at a point where general walking was making me drop to one side every now and then but that seems to have passed and I feel more confident on my feet. I also seem to only have my attacks now at certain times. I get them when I roll over a particular way in bed and if I spring out of bed and I also get them when I rise from the chair at my computer desk. So dont sleep that way and buy a new chair then!!! I have only had 4 attacks today but I will take notice of that when it becomes a more consistant drop.

Kerris had me on a sun bed this morning too. Apparently, people who shy away from UV have more chance of developing MS than those who bathe in the suns rays so I had 3 minutes of UV and I feel like I fell asleep on a park bench on the summer solstice!! Anyway, it will only be once a week so lets see how long my Norwegianess lasts!!!

Finally for today, thanks to everyone who got the link to the blog and mailed me to say what a good idea its been. You support is much appreciated and so in no particular order thanks to - Mum, Andy, Kerris, Nick, Sandro, Dario, Jimbo, Chunky Paul, Phil and I believe that Nick passed the address onto Dave and Mark so welcome one and all!!!!

Day 2 of steroids!!!

Well its my second day of the little blue tin foil tasting buggers!!!

How do I feel? Well I had fewer attacks yesterday than I have had recently and I had 3 during the night as Luca and Jay and Mother Nature kept us awake coaghing, wheezing and hail stoning!!!

Today, I have not had an attack as yet, I feel like I have a bit more balance about me and I have so much energy that I think there is an illegal substance in there!!!

So only time will tell but all seems well so far.

Weighty matters!!!

Some people, have on occasion, pointed out to me that I must have eaten all the pies!!!

well things have to change. The last few weeks have put things into perspective in a way that I have never experienced before and its now time to start looking after myself as much as I look after others!!!

So, just to challenge myself, I am going to share it with you. If I post it here, its there for everyone to see and I cannot hide from it.

last year, I had a close brush with Diabetes and was told to trim down a little and I don't mind telling you that in January 2007, I was near to 20st in weight (or 280Kg to my metric friends). I took some action and got down to may lowest weight of 17st 9Lbs (112Kg).

Today, I am 17st 10Lbs and I am targeting 16st (102Kg) for my first goal. I don't know how I will look if I weight much less than that so lets get there first and re-address the situation.

I am on the scales each Friday so I will keep it up to date.....

A little about my condition, all the questions you want answered but are afraid to ask me!!!

I thought it may be worth while telling you a little about my condition and how it affects me and my lifestyle.

Although I don't have MS as a diagnosis, I am being told to act as if it is the case as this gives me the best chance of controlling symptoms if they develop.

Well here are a few obvious starters.

1 - MS is a disease that affects me alone. In short, my immune system is so bored at me being such a picture of health, its decided to attack itself!!! So, if the immune system is attacking itself, you become less immune to combat the attacks and subsequently, you could suffer sclerosis of multiple parts of your workings, thus the name!!!

2 - You cant catch it from me, its still OK to stand near to me, share my space and drink from the same glass!!!

3 - Its not hereditary, my family don't have it and my son wont inherit it, even his son wont inherit it!!!

4 - Its not terminal and it does not shorten life expectancy....unless I take a symptom and decide to have it in the busy of a main road and get hit by a bus.

5 - it has no path, it doesn't have a plan, it affects each individual uniquely. I may never have another attack of it (please God), I don't know how it will affect me in a month, a year or 10 years.

6 - Best course of action is a healthy lifestyle, good diet, make sure your body gets a lot of the right vitamins and minerals. In fact, the further from the equator you live, the more chance you have of getting it!!! In damp territories (its raining now and I can see the sea from the window) its more prevelant. Don't be surprised if I move to Spain. Also, sunlight is good for controlling it and if you know me well, you know that I cower from sunlight like some vampire type!!!

If I think of any more then I will tell you but for now, that's about the long and short of it. You could always subscribe and then add a comment like -

"Good diet, healthy lifestyle???? You???? I give you 10 years!!!"

Methylpredinisolone......yuk!!!!

Now there is a long word thats instantly forgettable!! However, Methylpredinisolone is the steroid treatment that I am taking for the next 5 days that basically reduces my immune system activity and stops my body attacking itself!!!

Side effects include fluid retention, weight gain, high blood pressure, potassium loss, headache, muscle weakness, puffiness of the face, hair growth on the face, thinning and easy bruising of the skin, glaucoma, cataracts, peptic ulceration, worsening of diabetes, irregular menses, growth retardation in children, convulsions, and psychic disturbances. Psychic disturbances may include depression, euphoria, insomnia, mood swings, personality changes, and even psychotic behavior.

The above is quoted from a quick search on Google about it and I think my favourite is psychotic behaviour!!!

Anyway, these small blue unassuming tablets that I have to take 5 of in the morning are disgusting to say the least. Its like swallowing tin foil!!! It has left a huge metallic taste in my mouth that is still there after 3 rounds of Aquafresh!!!

I am still here and breathing though and also still having attacks so lets see what the next few days hold for me!!!

The medication is about to be begin....

I felt a little wierd on Saturday afternoon as I collected my first dose of medication to help treat my condition.

Just to bring you up to speed, here is the story so far!!!

In May last year, I exhibited at a security exhibition for the newly formed ADI Gardiner at Sandown Park in London. While assembling my stand, I thought I pulled something in my back and I can describe a funny pain down my right side of my body. I also felt a little off balance. However, after unloading a boot full of weighty security gear, I thought I had just twitched something.

Over the coming 6 weeks, I recall the funny pain remaining, and then developing pins and needles in my right side and also experiencing sciatica pain in buttocks and down my right leg.

Eventually, I went to see my doctor who refered me to Renacres Hall hospital (I am very lucky to have private medical insurance with my job) and ulitmately, I ended up having an MRI scan of my back. The MRI showed a slipped disk in my lower back and the diagnosis of a severe nerve concussion was given and I was told to do some physio.

Well the physio helped a little but in July, Kerris (my lovely wife and best mate) and I went to a my friends, Dario and Annie Campobassi's wedding in Montreal, Canada. For the full trip I had a loss of sensation in my groin area and also no feeling when I went to the toilet (sorry to be descriptive). By that I dont mean that I had potty accidents, but I just knew it was time for the toilet but I did not feel the actual act as it happened!!!

OK, the gross bit is over now!!!

Well it all seemed to clear up over the coming weeks and months and it was not until October 2006 that I returned to Renacres after having balance problems as I was walking up and down stairs. I had spent a lot of time in London on the underground and I was really struggling with the stairs, especially on my left side.

Over the next few months, my balance started to affect my everyday walking and after walking for about half a mile at any time, I would feel that I really had to concentrate on planting my left leg down on the floor. In the end, in early January 2007, I returned to the doctor when I was walking back to my car and lost my balance on some steps that led into a car park and fell down them, taking my son (Jay - aged 3) with me!!!

So along with the balance problems, lately I have developed a pain in my left side that lasts for about a minute and can only be best described as a cramp feeling. When it happens, I have to drop everything and just go with it until it has passed. It can happen anywhere between 5-15 times in a day and seems to most affect me when I am lying down.

I returned to the doctor once again and was refered to Renacres again and an MRI of my upper back and neck showed some nerve inflamation, only very slightly though. I also had an MRI of my brain that showed very little of the symptoms of something like MS. The consultant I am under suggested a Lumbar Puncture to exclude certain conditions from my diagnosis but it was at this time that the word MS was banded about a little more.

The lumbar puncture happened a week later (you have to love BUPA) and the results came through about a week after that. The results confirmed the consultants suspicions and basically I have nerve inflamation that can only be diagnosed as Mylitis right now but ultimately, it will be monitored over time to see if it is going to develop into MS.

So we need to start treating this and to be honest, its best to treat it as MS to control it in the future. Other conditions that I could have use the same drugs anyway.

So today, I got my short course of steroids to take over 5 days next week. As I collected them, thats when it hit home that for the time to come, my life wont be the same again. Hopefully these steroids will clear my current problems and also there is a chance that I may never have any symptoms ever again. There is no pattern to MS, no roadmap, no agenda, it has no uniform development, each case is different.

So I start the steroids tomorrow, and I am off work for the week as they may have side affects that dont agree with me but then this is why the blog now exists so that I can record each day and see what develops....I will let you know how it goes.

Hello and welcome to my blog!!!!

Hi all and thanks for joining me.

This is my blog and its here for a reason. The reason this blog exists is so I can record how I feel from day to day.

Why do you think that would be important to me? Well 2 reasons!!!

1 - Recently, following a series of unfortunate events, it has been suggested that I have developed myletis which could also be described as the early stages of MS. However, it is very important to understand that at this moment I dont have MS and I dont have MS as s diagnosis. This blog gives me the space to record my symptoms day to day. It gives a snapshot of how my symptoms will either develop or remiss. Its somewhere to record it all.

2 - I had previously decided to do this in a diary. But I hate writing and I use a PC everyday and I can use a PC anywhere at anytime, even on my mobile so vive la blog!!!

Its not all going to be drab and dreary, I hope to keep this as a snaphot of my life for anyone who is interested. I dont get to talk to a lot of my friends nearly as often as I would like to so hopefully it will fill in the blanks between the days, months and years that pass between our conversations!!!