Fatigue.

This week, I have been very tired.

If indeed I have what we all think I have then fatigue is the most common symptom of it. It didnt take me very long to look it up with regard to MS and to say that every word was spot on was an understatement. I quote -

More than anything, the fatigue that comes with multiple sclerosis (MS) is what makes one a member of the “MS club”: Virtually all of us experience it (experts estimate 85 to 95 percent) and people that do not have multiple sclerosis have never experienced the “special” nature of MS-related fatigue. Moreover, it is an invisible symptom, unlike a limp or a tremor. It is often difficult to get sympathy or understanding for this type of problem, even though fatigue can be the most debilitating part of having MS.

While everyone experiences “being tired” occasionally, the fatigue associated with MS has certain characteristics, including:

• Occurring daily
• May be present in the morning, even after a good night’s sleep
• Worsens as the day progresses
• Aggravated by heat and humidity
• Comes on suddenly
• More severe than normal fatigue and more likely to interfere with daily life
• Feeling of heaviness in arms and legs
• Difficulty concentrating
• Vertigo or dizziness
• Headaches
• Flu like symptoms
• Depression

So I look at that and so much of it rings true for me. I think about this week and I have started most days with a tired feeling, I have progressed through the day and found it difficult to concentrate on tasks because I am thinking more about being tired than what I am doing. Then, I have faced a few technical problems this week on jobs and found the troubleshooting process to be a struggle.

Sometimes, I wish that I could just climb back into bed but I do know that rest is not necessarily the cure. There have been times when I have collapsed in bed and slept like a baby only to wake the next day with a near hangover.

When I feel like this I just try and get on with my day and hope I keep going until a decent hour when I can go to bed. If I sleep in the afternoon then I feel as if I wont sleep at night so its best to keep my sleep pattern as regular as I can. I know that when I am like this, it is reflected in my mood too, I know people can tell a mile off when I suffer from fatigue and only with time will I learn how best to deal with it.

I have so many questions and not many answers. I am looking forward to the referral to the MS Psychologist as I think this person can help me.

I think I am still quite naive about all that has happened so far. I keep waiting for the next thing to happen while at the same time hoping it stays at bay for many years to come.

Kerris has a belief in life that before you arrive here (from wherever you were before you existed), you or your soul set yourself goals and tasks to attain to and challenge you. The most developed souls come to earth time and time again to test themselves in ever more elaborate ways, choosing a life of hardship and disease. If there is any truth in it then I can relate to myself as being quite a developed soul I reckon. There are 2 things it would really strike true on. The first would be the unpredictability of all this as I am an organised person who needs to know what is going on and when. So slamming me with something unpredictable kicks that one right into touch. The second is that I spend a lot of time looking after others. There are very few tasks in life where I let someone else do something for me and while some are mundane like insisting on ironing my own shirts or cooking the evening meals, I like to ease other peoples burdens and I am good at it. So potentially having a disease where ultimately I would need to rely on others would be a hard thing for me to cope with. In doing so, I am challenging myself and therefore must be a developed soul!!!