Withered!!!

Like the flower you see above, tired of the heat, the summer and the lack of water. This perfectly describes me after my week without Kerris!!!

You see, the week has been pretty good really. Luca and Jay have been well behaved and I even got a night out somewhere in the middle of it but one thing has taken its toll on me and that is the lack of rest I have had during the week. Specifically, the lack of sleep!! I just have not slept well without Kerris and while looking after the kids and the house has been a relative pleasure, lack of sleep takes it toll. I reckon that most nights I have had 5 hours. Even on Saturday when I was out with Nick and got to bed with a skin full of beer and pizza at 03.00 I was awake at 09.00.

Then last night the Thunder came!!! Well it didn't actually pass overhead but it was near enough to make a few loud bangs and some spectacular lightening bolts. I was awake because I knew "any minute now" Jay would wake and jump in bed with me which he did but not until an hour and a half into it. So last night, 2 hours sleep!!

I will let you in on 2 reasons why I think I havent slept well and they will give you a small insight into my workings.

1 - I am not good on my own. I need company, I need to wake up next to Kerris and fall asleep in the same bed as her and even though most nights she will watch her TV programmes and we wont utter too many words, she is there and therefore she is company. I am no good on my own!!!

2 - Slightly deeper this one. A whole load of "What Ifs" came into my head. What if I wake and my symptoms have flared and I cant get out of bed. What if I fall over and break a leg, who will look after the kids. What if I have a spaz attach and knock myself out on the basin? All very improbable things on their own but being on my own makes me think those thoughts!!!

So there you go, an easy week if you can sleep but a bugger of week if you are me!!! I cant wait for Kerris to return, my face will light up when I spot her coming into the terminal tomorrow. I love that woman and that's all there is to it. Without her I am 30% me, with her I will be 100% and in the future I will always let her have a break away if she needs it but I will miss her like mad and count the hours to her return. I love you Kerris K Kitten!!! XXX