Its getting hard to update the blog recently..

In the last entry about my current condition, I shared that my right hand was numb and had a constant coldness to it. Well I am glad to say that the numbness and the coldness have pretty much moved on. However, there is always something around the corner to make life difficult!!!

The numbness is now confined to 2 fingers. On my right hand, my little finger and my second finger feel quite numb all the time right now and furthermore, its making typing and using the mouse very hard.

Last night, I held my hand up with fingers stretched out (in the same way that you would to see if your fingers were shaking) and I was amazed to watch my fingers drop and go into an almost clenched position with no control from me. I could not feel them bend or move. So its any ones guess to wonder what is going on there.

I spent and hour and a half inside an MRI scanner at Liverpool University Hospital on Friday and to say it felt a little claustrophobic was an understatement. I was genuinely shaken by it. However, they took piccies of my back, my neck and my brain to see if anything was developing. I will make an appointment for next week so hopefully they will have big news, little news or no news. I don't really know which I would prefer more right now.

Jimbo

This is my good friend James E Thurgood and his lovely lady Sharon at our wedding (by that I mean Kerris and I, not Jim and me!!) back in June 2004. I have known James for nearly 10 years now and following on from his complaint that he was not mentioned on my blog, I thought I would give him some space and tell you a funny story.

I don't think that Jim will mind me telling you of our first meeting.

Jim was a new starter at Gardiner Security and I was happily taking on the role of inductor of new staff while my boss, Glenn, was on his holidays.

Jim was about 3 hours late to begin with and so I got straight onto product training.

"Now Jim, this is the Vantage PC based access control system, you will need to fire up your new laptop to run the software" I said.

"How do I do that?" Replied Jim.

"Just install the software CD onto the laptop and then run the program" I answered.

"No" said Jim "How do I turn on the laptop".........

I can honestly say, the ice was broken, a friendship was made and I have treasured this bloke ever since.

So here's to Jim, not alf my boy, look what you could have won!!!!

Customers!!!

Hello from sunny Glasgow.

I did not intend to blog from Glasgow but a situation was forced upon me whereby I had to. I left the house this morning at 6.00AM to be in Glasgow for a 10.00AM meeting. All good planning from me.

As I turn onto the M8, the phone rings and its the customer. The immortal words "Sorry to mess you about..." come out and he tells me the meeting is put back to 1.00PM.

So I divert to a hotel, drink lots of coffee, consider the fact I could have easily left at 9.00AM and had an extra 3 hours in bed.

Cheers customer!!!

Depressed!!!

I was quite depressed yesterday. I was quiet and withdrawn and Kerris hates that when it happens. Thankfully, it does not happen t0o often.

I am completely sick of my latest round of symptoms. Mainly the cold feeling in my hand, its driving me insane. I saw the consultant on Thursday last week and he seemed happy enough and claimed that it would clear up of its own accord and that I need to arrange another MRI to see if there is anything developing that was not there last time. This MRI is happening this coming Friday.

When I woke yesterday, I was tired, my right hand was cold as ice and I could feel some sinus pain and it just hit me from the moment I got out of bed. All I could think of was going back to bed!!!

I got through the day OK, like I said, I was quiet and withdrawn. Kerris went out in the evening with her sister, I ordered her to go as she wanted to stay with me but it would not have helped and I was feeling bad enough on my own without spoiling Kerris's plans.

So I was in bed by 8.50 and asleep by 8.51 I think and when I awoke this morning, it had all passed (except for the cold hand).

This hand is insane, I am typing now and it feels like it has frostbite coursing through it. I cant feel the keys I am hitting and I have slowed my typing down (to about 120 words per minute!!!) so that I can strike the keyboard with my right hand with more accuracy. The spell check will let me know in a moment how I am doing!!!

I think these symptoms are clearing, I have a lot less of a tightness in my legs and the stiff muscles feeling just seems to be in my lower back. Its clearing slowly though, hopefully once these pass off then that will be it for a while until the body re-groups and comes up with a plan B to debilitate me more.....

By the way, spell checker loves me!!!

Weight loss update 4.

Firstly, did you notice that there wasn't a "Weight loss update 3" in the blog last week?

Seen as though we title it "weight loss update...." it would require actual weight loss to make it into the blog. Last week, I actually gained a pound in weight and went up to 17st 8Lbs. This was despite monk like living after the weekend of Easter. It just goes to show that you cant binge on choccie eggs and expect to lose weight.

So we can assume that this week we have weight loss as there is an entry!! Wehay!!! I did this little feat despite going to the charity ball at the weekend and I am quite chuffed to inform you that the scales read 17st 6Lbs this morning as they groaned under me.

I think I have found the formula for weight loss at this time too. You have to understand that I am doing sod all physical exercise right now as my numbness is restricting me and that came soon after my imbalance cleared up. So it seems that physically my body wants to hold me back.

However, the secret appears to be that every day, if I have a regular breakfast, a bucketful of fruit for lunch and a regular healthy evening meal then weight will drop.

I know this is going slow but I am sticking with it all the way to 16st, just watch me!!!

I dont have a trade as such!!!

Its always worried me that I did not do well in school and that while most of my year were busy doing "A" Levels, I was busy re-sitting GCSE's as I had basically wasted my school life trying to look like the class idiot!!!

I remember the day well, it was the day that we collected our 5th Year GCSE results following on from taking our exams. I did not think at the time that I was going to do well and my god was I right.

I opened the envelope to find that the only subject I had attained a healthy "C" in was Geography. There you go, pretty important stuff eh!!! At least I would always know where I was. I basically finished my school life with the ability to know where I was and the ability to attention seek.

So the following 2 years were spent getting the grades that eluded me, and as people where leaving the 6th form with the "A" Levels required to progress onto University, I was leaving with the GCSE's required to do "A" Levels. By this time, it was time to start earning a living.

One thing or another led me into sales roles, I started in metal wholesaling and with a nod from my good friend Nick, I took a job at a security wholesaler.

And in security is where I stayed. I now work as a Sales Manager and I navigate the UK attention seeking for new business. So in that way, my skills match my qualifications!!!

Professionally, I still want to progress and for some reason, computers and me have always had a logical kinship that I am exploring a bit further. I have started studying towards becoming an IT professional. At the very least, I see a link between security and IT knowledge as the 2 sectors are coming closer as network technology develops. I see lots of IT professionals who don't know the first thing about security and conversely I see a lot of security professionals who don't know the fist thing about IT. I will bridge this gap I hope and get myself a pretty hi tech trade along the way.

I just want to know, what the hell is going on!!!

I am suffering a little at the moment with a few symptoms that are really starting to get on my nerves!!!

I am seeing my consultant tomorrow, I brought it forward a week and also arranged to see him him at a different hospital as I could feel something creeping over me and I wanted to see him while it was there rather than describing it all after the event.

Basically, I feel very numb and yesterday, for no apparent reason, I just fell over when I left a site that I had just been working on. My right foot ankle gave in and there I was like a beached whale on the floor with dented pride and a sore ankle too.

So I have this numbness that started in my feet and has worked its way up my legs and it stretches from my knees to the centre of my back. Its weird as although I am numb, I feel touch!!! Only time and learning will give the the words to describe it.

I also feel cold, my right hand is permanently cold and last night when I put it somewhere warmer to get some heat, it just felt colder!!! It feels like I have been holding a snowball for too long and all of my senses have gone in my hand.

I had an initial diagnosis of Myelitis but as this drags on, I think it is all pointing in one direction for me. I just hope I can get on top of it and start feeling normal again soon. Its not debilitating, its just depressing.