I have been there 3 times now, each occasion I have seen a different person and each occasion I go through my history as to what has worked and what has not worked.
Today I discussed a few things namely
- Numb hands
- Bladder control
- Depression
With regards to the numb hands, I am being prescribed Vigrablin which is another in a long line of anti epilepsy drugs that probably wont work. I will take it though, apparently it is the case there are loads of drugs to try, some work and some dont, its just trying to find the right one.
With regards to bladder control, I dont really have a problem here. Sometimes I get the urge and need to go straight away and sometimes I wake in the night desperate for the loo. I got an ultrasound of my bladder done and its emptying at acceptable levels so there are no problems there.
Depression is a new one. Well its new in the fact that I admit I am suffering with it at some level. Sometime I wake tired and lethargic and I am a pain to be around. I dont know how to deal with it and neither does Kerris so admitting you could do with some professional help is a fair step to dealing with the problem. I am being refereed to an MS Psychologist for some advice so hopefully something good will come of this.
So I booked another appointment for 4 months down the road and I think I need to go better prepared. I am going to make a brief history to carry around so that I can refer to it if needed. Finally, recording all this in the blog seems worthwhile!!
I met a lady at the Walton Centre that I used to work with about 12 years ago. Marianne was diagnosed with MS and when I knew her, she was fine and occasionally used a stick for balance. She is not much older than me. However, seeing her today broke my heart for her. She seemed small and frail and is confined to a wheelchair. I was talking to her very briefly as I got called in but I had a longer chat with her husband who has now given up work to care for her. I felt so sorry for them, Marianne is a girl who meant no harm to anyone and seeing her like that just doesnt seem fair. She seems to be upbeat though and its nice to see that in someone. While I was talking to her husband I mentioned my hands and he said...."Oh yeah, thats how Marianne started".
I dont think I need to tell you about the effect that has had on me do I? I dont try and hide the fact that whatever I have scares the living daylights out of me on a daily basis but whatever will be will be and its my job to be strong throughout it and face it with a positive attitude, I just wish I was better prepared to do so.
Before anyone gets too worried though, I am OK, I promise!!!
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