Stop at square 1 and dont pass go!!!

Here are the details of my follow up with the consultant then.

Basically its a case of do nothing. I have no nerve damage, the condition does not debilitate me so it will either clear up very slowly over time or it could get worse or it may just stay as it is for the rest of my days.

I don't show too much emotion on this blog, I state a lot of what happens to me in a light hearted way and as matter of fact but I don't mind sharing one of my biggest fears.

Its hard to put to words but I will try. If indeed this is something that will stay with me then the small adjustments that I make in life enable me to go on without any signs of trouble. However, I have made small adjustments to compensate for lots of things.

I don't walk as fast or as far as this compensates for my balance problems.
I don't break into a run as this compensates for my balance.
I don't sing loudly as this creates a cold feeling in my face.
I don't drink anything like I could previously as this compensates for the lethargy I have the following day.
I don't do any heavy lifting as this compensates for any back trouble around my inflammation area.
And now, I constantly wiggle my hands and fingers as this compensates for the cold and numb feeling I get when they are at rest.

Lots of compensating and so hopefully you begin to understand my frustration at my condition.

I just don't want to be one of those people who is useless because "I cant do that because" or "I cant do that either". That is my deepest fear, I like people to rely on me and if I don't feel that people can then I don't see the point in very much else.

Is that all a little deep? Well, sometimes its good to get the dark side out, I feel better already for writing this!!!